I've never thought of myself as daring, not in a physical sense. Skiing is fun, but the speed makes me nervous. Definitely not a fan of roller coasters, you should see the photos of me they have of you after you get off. Not pretty. I like to keep my feet on the ground. Part of being an introvert is the brain chemistry, very often introverts are highly sensitive to dopamine. Meaning we can receive enough dopamine from quiet activities, we don't need as much excitement in our lives for our brains to feel good. So thrill seeking isn't really my thing. But I am strangely intrigued and petrified by sky-diving. So I don't want to label myself too soon, because I might surprise myself.
Recently, I had to opportunity to try aerial yoga. If you're not familiar with it, it's a combination of yoga, pilates and dance that incorporates "silks", which is a hammock that hangs from the ceiling. It was amazingly fun. As I was following along with the instructor, I was really enjoying myself. She had us move into position for an inversion, with my bent legs up in the silk and my fingertips touching the floor. And next I was supposed to release my hands and put them behind my back to hold the silks. What? That was scary, I was definitely anxious about letting go. But I did, and it was terrific. The second I let go, I felt such a sense of freedom. Just hanging there like an upside down monkey. But there was no tension, no fear, no worry. Just calm and a sense of ease and lightness. I was held by the silks and I felt supported. I might have stayed but for all the blood rushing to my head.
In thinking about it later, I realized my experience of aerial yoga was an illustration of trusting myself, my own strength and the universe to support me. Yoga instructors usually say at the end of class when you're lying in corpse pose to feel the ground supporting you. You are supported. Now I really felt it. I was scared, but I let go and trusted I'd be okay trying something new. And I felt supported. This resonated with me, because I had recently left home and moved across the country. To a new city, to start a new career, to make new friends. I didn't move for a job, I moved because I wanted to live in California. Certainly, I had anxiety about moving, but I also had a sense of certainty that this was the next step for me. The life I had been working so hard to change was here. It was time to take courageous action in spite of my fear. That is how I want to live my life. It only happens if you make it real. I'm here in California now. There's still work to be done and a lot to learn about this new place and culture. I'm still finding my way. But I've got this. Trusting myself is the only requirement. So I will take any reminder that I'm supported, that I am being guided somehow. I'm grateful to myself for having let go and for hanging upside down like a monkey.
Please comment and let me know what risks you've taken and felt supported, or maybe you're just thinking about it and need some encouragement.